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What happens when the DM is not the one who decides what happens during the game? Letme describe the situation:So I've played both online and in person throughout my gaming career. In this case I was in ruralTexas at the time, playing an in-person game that my friend was running. We were startedat level 1 in Pathfinder, and we were going to have some fun in the city of Absalom. Andsince my friend and I were still living with our parents, two of the players volunteeredus to play at their house. It seemed like a good idea at the time!As usual, any listed names are not real names.We have:Me, a college-aged student working at Walmart at the time, playing a half-orc witch.The DM who was a college friend of mine at the time.A friend of my friend named Dan who was the Cleric and also in college.Bob who was an army veteran and... well, you'll learn more about him soon enough. 30-somethingyears old, big guy, intimidating. Combat experience. And he played a Barbarian.Lisa, Bob's wife. I believe she was also an army veteran, and... you'll also learn moreabout her. 30-something years old, intimidating in her own right. And she played a half-elfrogue.Now, we had been playing with Bob and Lisa at the local game store off and on for a time.(Looking back that whole game store was kind of cursed, actually.) We played some boardgames, some card games, some party games - those sorts of things. They were quirky, I guess?Bob was a big soldier dude with some bravado, and Lisa had quite a bit of bravado herself.I distinctly remember the two of them giving a long speech about how women can absolutelypee standing up in the context of some board game, and I remember they were loud and proudof it, but... That's nothing to be worried about by itself. Kinda weird in their ownways, but they just seemed full of enthusiasm.Anyway, we needed a place to play. Bob offered his house. He said he had a great, big tablethat would fit a group of 6 people just fine, and we were considering getting a sixth playereventually. My house wasn't an option; DM's house wasn't an option; and Dan's apartmentwas at least an hour's drive from our town. So, Bob and Lisa's house seemed like a goodplace to play at.It was not, in fact, a good place to play at.So DM and I drove to the place together. I was the one driving, and my friend DM wason the phone getting directions. The directions were a bit vague, and he commented off-handedlywhen we finished something along the lines of: "Oh, hey, Bob said he doesn't want usto tell anyone about where he lives.""Why?" I asked naturally."Something about legal trouble, I don't know."Concern Level: 1Well, whatever. I figured the guy was joking or something. Anyway, we drive into the placeafter we finally find it (the directions were weird and vague), but we find the drive wayand start pulling in. That's when these Alaskan huskies start barking at us. We decide tostay in the car because those are big dogs, and Bob walks out after we call him, shushesthem, and leads us in.We settle into the house. The dogs come up during the conversation. We tell him they'rebeautiful dogs. He laughs and says, "You know, they could totally kill a guy." Then he reiteratesthis in a more serious tone, saying "No seriously. They're trained, and they COULD absolutelykill a guy on command."Concern Level: 2The house, at least, is nice. We quickly are asked by Bob and Lisa, "You guys are surethat you weren't followed right? It's really important for you to not tell the police aboutus." They won't say why, they just say so. Concern Level: 3.Look... at that point I should've just left, but I got the distinct sense that if I triedto leave then I'd have been asking for this crazy couple to do something to me. My cellphone was also not charged. Oops.Anyways, we're there for the long haul, so we settle in. Again, the house is nice; thetable is as big as it was suggested. Then I learn the guy has guns in his house... ConcernLevel: 4.We keep going. DM and Dan don't seem that concerned about anything just yet. We finallystart playing the game, introducing characters, etc. Then it's time to adventure!At some point during said adventure, there's a rules argument between DM and Bob. DM says"Well, I'm DM." Bob says, "And it's my house." ...Alright.Concern Level: 5.Okay, fine. At this point I just want the game to be over, and the DM and Dan are startingto be concerned. Even trips to the bathroom make me feel tense. But eventually we're adventuring,I ALMOST forget about the weirdness happening... We're fighting some sort of weird fish people,and afterwards, we find some treasure.Now, among the various items in the treasure, there was a magic scroll. I brightened up.Hey, a magic scroll! My witch could totally use that. I suggest as much, and everyoneagrees - except the half-elf rogue. The half-elf rogue responds with "Well, I have Use MagicalDevice." I respond with "But I can learn the spell from the scroll."Now, at most tables, we might have negotiated a little over what one of us might give upfrom the treasure in return for the scroll. But instead, I got an answer along the linesof: "Well first of all, it's my house. Secondly, my character can kick your character's butt.Thirdly? You are in MY HOUSE." And the way she spoke was that of someone who was threateningsomeone else. I remember her husband posturing in his seat like he was ready to beat someone'sbutt, and the presence of those big dogs nearby, the knowledge that there were firearms inthe house, and the simple fact these people were actively telling us not to tell the copsabout them all came into my mind at once.As a reminder: Bob was a military man with combat experience. I had gotten into ONE physicalaltercation in my entire life at that point, and I was tubby. DM was tubby. Dan was a good,skinny little Christian lad who wouldn't hurt a fly if it pooped in his eye. We were beingthreatened by 30-somethings years old who were taking the game to "And I will hurt youif I don't get what I want" levels.Concern Level: 9000+I let her take the scroll. We finished the game. DM and I drove home. As we did, I toldhim very plainly, "We are not associating with those people ever again, and if we seethem at the game store we leave immediately."We never did speak with them again except MAYBE once. We just cut off contact completely,told them DM couldn't run the game anymore, and that was that.Nowadays, I refuse to go to anyone's house unless I know them pretty well.Yeah, I'm glad OP lived to tell the tale, because that was a legitimately tense situation.It's very easy to deal with bullies when it's about standing up for yourself, but when thingsgo from vocal to physical and you can lose your life for standing up, it best to concedewhen it comes to playing a game. Be careful with playing at someone's house and make sureto charge your phone and bring an external battery pack with you.What do you all think about this situation?

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<text sub="clublinks" start="0" dur="7.689">What happens when the DM is not the one who decides what happens during the game? Let</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="7.689" dur="2.631">me describe the situation:</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="10.32" dur="7.64">So I've played both online and in person throughout my gaming career. In this case I was in rural</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="17.96" dur="6.75">Texas at the time, playing an in-person game that my friend was running. We were started</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="24.71" dur="7.101">at level 1 in Pathfinder, and we were going to have some fun in the city of Absalom. And</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="31.811" dur="5.369">since my friend and I were still living with our parents, two of the players volunteered</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="37.18" dur="5.81">us to play at their house. It seemed like a good idea at the time!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="42.99" dur="5.15">As usual, any listed names are not real names.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="48.14" dur="1">We have:</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="49.14" dur="6.03">Me, a college-aged student working at Walmart at the time, playing a half-orc witch.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="55.17" dur="4.139">The DM who was a college friend of mine at the time.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="59.309" dur="7.041">A friend of my friend named Dan who was the Cleric and also in college.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="66.35" dur="7.55">Bob who was an army veteran and... well, you'll learn more about him soon enough. 30-something</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="73.9" dur="8.19">years old, big guy, intimidating. Combat experience. And he played a Barbarian.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="82.09" dur="8.569">Lisa, Bob's wife. I believe she was also an army veteran, and... you'll also learn more</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="90.659" dur="7.951">about her. 30-something years old, intimidating in her own right. And she played a half-elf</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="98.61" dur="1.029">rogue.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="99.639" dur="6.69">Now, we had been playing with Bob and Lisa at the local game store off and on for a time.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="106.329" dur="7.14">(Looking back that whole game store was kind of cursed, actually.) We played some board</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="113.469" dur="8.29">games, some card games, some party games - those sorts of things. They were quirky, I guess?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="121.759" dur="7.2">Bob was a big soldier dude with some bravado, and Lisa had quite a bit of bravado herself.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="128.959" dur="6.64">I distinctly remember the two of them giving a long speech about how women can absolutely</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="135.599" dur="7.081">pee standing up in the context of some board game, and I remember they were loud and proud</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="142.68" dur="7.029">of it, but... That's nothing to be worried about by itself. Kinda weird in their own</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="149.709" dur="4.431">ways, but they just seemed full of enthusiasm.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="154.14" dur="7.73">Anyway, we needed a place to play. Bob offered his house. He said he had a great, big table</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="161.87" dur="6.06">that would fit a group of 6 people just fine, and we were considering getting a sixth player</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="167.93" dur="8.41">eventually. My house wasn't an option; DM's house wasn't an option; and Dan's apartment</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="176.34" dur="6.11">was at least an hour's drive from our town. So, Bob and Lisa's house seemed like a good</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="182.45" dur="1.35">place to play at.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="183.8" dur="4.189">It was not, in fact, a good place to play at.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="187.989" dur="7.901">So DM and I drove to the place together. I was the one driving, and my friend DM was</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="195.89" dur="7.22">on the phone getting directions. The directions were a bit vague, and he commented off-handedly</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="203.11" dur="6.28">when we finished something along the lines of: "Oh, hey, Bob said he doesn't want us</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="209.39" dur="2.7">to tell anyone about where he lives."</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="212.09" dur="2.83">"Why?" I asked naturally.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="214.92" dur="3.929">"Something about legal trouble, I don't know."</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="218.849" dur="1.581">Concern Level: 1</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="220.43" dur="6.75">Well, whatever. I figured the guy was joking or something. Anyway, we drive into the place</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="227.18" dur="6.49">after we finally find it (the directions were weird and vague), but we find the drive way</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="233.67" dur="7.12">and start pulling in. That's when these Alaskan huskies start barking at us. We decide to</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="240.79" dur="6.779">stay in the car because those are big dogs, and Bob walks out after we call him, shushes</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="247.569" dur="1.98">them, and leads us in.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="249.549" dur="5.881">We settle into the house. The dogs come up during the conversation. We tell him they're</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="255.43" dur="8.96">beautiful dogs. He laughs and says, "You know, they could totally kill a guy." Then he reiterates</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="264.39" dur="8.27">this in a more serious tone, saying "No seriously. They're trained, and they COULD absolutely</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="272.66" dur="3.02">kill a guy on command."</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="275.68" dur="1.87">Concern Level: 2</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="277.55" dur="6.24">The house, at least, is nice. We quickly are asked by Bob and Lisa, "You guys are sure</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="283.79" dur="5.07">that you weren't followed right? It's really important for you to not tell the police about</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="288.86" dur="6.41">us." They won't say why, they just say so. Concern Level: 3.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="295.27" dur="6.53">Look... at that point I should've just left, but I got the distinct sense that if I tried</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="301.8" dur="8.12">to leave then I'd have been asking for this crazy couple to do something to me. My cell</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="309.92" dur="3.87">phone was also not charged. Oops.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="313.79" dur="8.41">Anyways, we're there for the long haul, so we settle in. Again, the house is nice; the</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="322.2" dur="7.31">table is as big as it was suggested. Then I learn the guy has guns in his house... Concern</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="329.51" dur="1.66">Level: 4.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="331.17" dur="6.97">We keep going. DM and Dan don't seem that concerned about anything just yet. We finally</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="338.14" dur="7.47">start playing the game, introducing characters, etc. Then it's time to adventure!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="345.61" dur="9.02">At some point during said adventure, there's a rules argument between DM and Bob. DM says</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="354.63" dur="7.66">"Well, I'm DM." Bob says, "And it's my house." ...Alright.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="362.29" dur="1.56">Concern Level: 5.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="363.85" dur="8.56">Okay, fine. At this point I just want the game to be over, and the DM and Dan are starting</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="372.41" dur="8.82">to be concerned. Even trips to the bathroom make me feel tense. But eventually we're adventuring,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="381.23" dur="6.49">I ALMOST forget about the weirdness happening... We're fighting some sort of weird fish people,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="387.72" dur="2.21">and afterwards, we find some treasure.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="389.93" dur="6.85">Now, among the various items in the treasure, there was a magic scroll. I brightened up.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="396.78" dur="7.16">Hey, a magic scroll! My witch could totally use that. I suggest as much, and everyone</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="403.94" dur="9.57">agrees - except the half-elf rogue. The half-elf rogue responds with "Well, I have Use Magical</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="413.51" dur="5.16">Device." I respond with "But I can learn the spell from the scroll."</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="418.67" dur="6.16">Now, at most tables, we might have negotiated a little over what one of us might give up</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="424.83" dur="6.55">from the treasure in return for the scroll. But instead, I got an answer along the lines</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="431.38" dur="8.38">of: "Well first of all, it's my house. Secondly, my character can kick your character's butt.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="439.76" dur="8.33">Thirdly? You are in MY HOUSE." And the way she spoke was that of someone who was threatening</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="448.09" dur="6.77">someone else. I remember her husband posturing in his seat like he was ready to beat someone's</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="454.86" dur="6.11">butt, and the presence of those big dogs nearby, the knowledge that there were firearms in</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="460.97" dur="6.19">the house, and the simple fact these people were actively telling us not to tell the cops</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="467.16" dur="5.23">about them all came into my mind at once.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="472.39" dur="9.01">As a reminder: Bob was a military man with combat experience. I had gotten into ONE physical</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="481.4" dur="9.15">altercation in my entire life at that point, and I was tubby. DM was tubby. Dan was a good,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="490.55" dur="7.07">skinny little Christian lad who wouldn't hurt a fly if it pooped in his eye. We were being</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="497.62" dur="6.06">threatened by 30-somethings years old who were taking the game to "And I will hurt you</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="503.68" dur="4.8">if I don't get what I want" levels.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="508.48" dur="2.87">Concern Level: 9000+</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="511.35" dur="7.34">I let her take the scroll. We finished the game. DM and I drove home. As we did, I told</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="518.69" dur="5.58">him very plainly, "We are not associating with those people ever again, and if we see</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="524.27" dur="3.45">them at the game store we leave immediately."</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="527.72" dur="7.32">We never did speak with them again except MAYBE once. We just cut off contact completely,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="535.04" dur="4.38">told them DM couldn't run the game anymore, and that was that.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="539.42" dur="5.25">Nowadays, I refuse to go to anyone's house unless I know them pretty well.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="544.67" dur="8.61">Yeah, I'm glad OP lived to tell the tale, because that was a legitimately tense situation.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="553.28" dur="4.97">It's very easy to deal with bullies when it's about standing up for yourself, but when things</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="558.25" dur="7.61">go from vocal to physical and you can lose your life for standing up, it best to concede</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="565.86" dur="5.66">when it comes to playing a game. Be careful with playing at someone's house and make sure</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="571.52" dur="4.045">to charge your phone and bring an external battery pack with you.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="575.565" dur="2.915">What do you all think about this situation?</text>