SKIDS: The Most Disrespected Autobot subtitles

What up, team! Er, shall we do a big 'un? I'm up for it! I'm feeling the format.So take my hand as today we pay much-needed tribute to a certain attention-starved Autobotwho's been sidelined, backbenched, dismissed, and straight up disrespected for too many years, in too many ways!Yes friends, this is the story of perennial Autobot afterthought Skids, that stunningly stylish compact cubeladwho's all too often passed over for new toys and new roles.This poor sod has been with Transformers since its earliest days and yet is relentlessly overlooked- but not in this house! For today, Skids gets his due - Thew style!So yes, in-universe, poor old Skidward here was so painfully under-utilised in classic mediathat his whole presence was pretty much a quiet sloppy fart until he finally hit his stride in his thirties.Same.I mean, did he get to do anything in G1? Like, he did show up on screen, but he was pretty much just a spectatorapart from that one time he got run over and then they used his lifeless husk in some kind of gruesome robot gore throne.My hero.While in print, he's probably most famous for receiving a weirdly horny soapy sponge bathbut the only thing he ever did that I remember was that time he, uh, exploded into oblivion.That's so him. That's his signature move.But like so much of what's wrong with the world, I feel like it mostly comes down to mismanagement.That is, in the early '80s, the Hasbro team had such a mammoth task on their handswith so many characters to develop and market, and Skids just always seemed to be the one to slip through the cracks.His was very much a toy tasked with bringin' up the rear, just barely scrapin' onto shelves without a firm place in the 1984 or '85 lineups,lumbered with the last job title in the bucket, a desperately dull character bio,and a name that - while stil technically automotive - always makes you think about poopoo.And it really chafes my arse that he's been such a nonentity, 'cos for me, G1 Skids is easily one of the best original Autobot cars!I'm friggin' serious. Top 3!'Cos check it out! This is a gorgeous figure that takes that quintessential carformer design -hood chest, wing doors, all the hits -and totally makes it his own with a unique chonky square lad style that nobody else could pull off!That nobody else has really TRIED to pull off.He just gleams in a very particular and very pleasing way in that wonderful deep metallic blue with all classic retro silvery stickers,cheeky red plastic fists and feet and pants and little chromey roundy headlight nips!And I get that physically he's a bit doofy lookin'.He doesn't exactly give off badass warrior energy with his weirdly leggy height and awkward elbowless armsbut does that make him lesser than his peers? This is textbook G1!Like, he's got the requisite stack of silvery weapons and the rocket launcher that I'm not sure ever worked,the articulation's objectively pathetic, and he's still fun in spite of that.That's what we like about G1! This is as real as it gets!Skids is livin' that first-wave '80s kitsch life and he doesn't need YOU to validate him.But I do. Tell him he's handsome.Say it.Transformation - just like the man - is irresistible!Just an elegant and uncomplicated foldy-down crumplestiltskids kind of affairwith a distinctive signature manoeuvre that I like to call the head flap hood flip!Like, the bonnet boings open and the little robo head rotates around and folds awayhence why he doesn't have that ugly neck void that so many of 'em do.It's a strong move, and it's all his!And this Honda City Turbo alt mode is such a happy little hump of a thing!Look, you KNOW I'm a sucker for a chunky blue minimobile, and Skids is the truest of the bluest.It just melts me, man, it's like my direct weakness.'Cos, okay, from a professional vintage toy appraisal point of view it's got the rubber tyres and the rubsignand the bit of die cast that the collectors craveand the working doors and boot make it technically more full-featured than most of the contemporary Autobot cars of the erabut internally I'm just screamin' with glee!I wanna cuddle this thing all day long! I wanna pat it on the head like a hamster and feed it a raisin.I am bewitched. How is the world not in love with this thing!? How have we not had 50 of these?I dunno. I guess 'cos its not like a sexy sports car or a badass battle mobile. I imagine that's why they gave this one the boring backstory.'Cos when you're workin' with a team of awesome alien supercars, who'd wanna be the harmless hatchback?Lookin' like this ain't gonna make you a megastar but it definitely makes Skids feel more grounded in realityand that's more what I want from a robot in disguise.There could be four of these parked on my street right now and I wouldn't even raise an invisible eyebrow!This tidy little runabout is just way more relatable than the cool kids who turn into, like, space Lamborghinis, and one specific race car.Great disguise, lads, you'll blend right in. Haven't you seen Drive?Doot-de-doot-de-doooo!Ooh, the Adorable Tiny Car Mode Doot-de-Doo, that's...MERCHANDISABLE!So, do you see what I mean? Skids is a truly singular starlet with an enchantingly unique design and a ton of earnest Autobot heartand he's probably the most enduringly Diacloney out of all the original imported car boys.I mean, he's been so underutilised in Transformers that it almost feels more natural to think of this as a Diaclone toy!Maybe I watch too much Basics, too much Toy Galaxy - if there is such a thing -but I can more easily picture this toy scootin' around one of those adorable miniature blue-sky city sets on some Takara TV adthan... shootin' lasers at Decepticons? He doesn't do that.But even with all that in mind, this is still, for me, the last official Skids toy that really looked or felt like Skids'cos even in a world obsessed with nostalgia, Skids hasn't ever really managed to make much of a meaningful comeback.I mean, there have been a few new Skids kids, but they've all been either heavy interpretations or like, weird abstract offshoots.Take for example Robots In Disguise Skid-Z, who's... all right, it's clearly not the same guy, but he's got the name, kind of!What is that, Skid-Zuh?Skid-Zee?Skid-Zed?What kind of Gobot-ass name is that?Come on, Rest-Q!But look, RID Skid-Z here definitely had a whole thing goin' on, turning in a wonderful performanceas a turbo-revvin' young punk with a compulsive racing addiction 'cos he accidentally scanned a Formula 1 driver's ghost!?Maybe Skid-Z is haunted!Brilliant.So Zedhead here is clearly not affiliated with our humble Hondabot -he's much more of a Mirage-a-like, based as he is on the Machine Wars Mirage figurewhich in turn was based on a cancelled design from G2.There was a lot of that around back then - RID, Machine Wars, Robot Masters, Beast Wars II - they were all drippin' with G2 overspill.But those were some solid figures, man! They deserved a bit of action!They were a laugh, they had a lot to offer, and they hadn't really dated for 5 or 6 years.Big mood.Anyway, the robot mode's possibly a bit sorta graceless and baggy with the oversized racecar chest and awkward stumpy limbsbut he still poses all right, kind of, and he looks straight up swish in this bold mix of shiny magenta, metallic teal,and cool neutral beige which may or may not have once been white with a mighty smack of heavenly light piping!And being a child of gimmick-obsessed G2, he's naturally built around this ace little flipchange automorph leverand as for this flamboyant F1 mode, damn is that some flair!Check it out with its smooth cruisin' grooves and ballsy racing chops!And I dunno if it's just me, but there's somethin' about this that feels kinda 50s with the kinda cream soda colours and the Coca-Cola ribbon,like a Coke float,flashin' some classic Chevy fender bulge with the double-wide wing styles!This is as excitin' as were gettin' today!Because the next time the Skid-Z name would pop up after this guy was on an Armada Mini-con.And a shitty one, too!Like, after they ran out of ideas for actual Armada toys, they ended up having to shove out a bunch of Beast Wars Transmetal recoloursto bulk up the later waves, and Skid-Z was just the name they slapped on a Mini-con- one of TWO Mini-cons that they threw in with one of those!Talk about slummin' it! More like Skid-Z-List.So we're gonna move past that and instead jump ahead to Skids's first semi-successful return to his blocky blue bod in Alternators/Binaltech- the line so dicey they named it twicey -which, as we covered not that long ago, was some of the first G1 revival stuff from the mid-2000s.This was the original 1984 resurgence, so it should have been the perfect spot for Skids to muscle in and stake his place in the big leagues!But much as I hate to say it, he kinda seemed like a joke?'Cos look at this bloody thing! It's such a dorkus!It just comes off so droopy and daft with the strange sloping beer belly body typedwarfing his weirdly weedy arms and miserable little pistol.But still, it is kinda brilliant! Say what you want, this is a serious machine!He's definitely got that incredibly specific Binaltech bombast, positively bloated with visual bang,heftily hearty handfeel and lavish labyrinthine engineeringwith those legit headlgihts and brutal bumper, heavy black shoulder straps and always-on active steering!And like, the legs are lumpy as shit, but they're so alive!You got these major shin bumpers, cheeky silver thighs with bruisin' black knee spikes,and these dumpy trapezium shoes are so disarmingly inelegant!Put it this way - how are you gonna forget this thing?It's an incomparably clumpy-ass charismatic chungus with incredible Autobot energy and it absolutely will not be ignored!That's gotta be one of the most far-out transformations ever, man.Like, even for a Binal boy, this is some freaky shit!His entire boob region untabs and stretches way out on a stick with his head on another stick,literally everythig flips and spins and then his arms tuck into the back of his neck!?Honestly, if you consider yourself a Transformer enthusiast, you gotta check this thing out in person at least once, for research.But yes, this is how Binaltech chose to update old Skids as a hulking Toyota baby.Y'all know Binaltech lives and dies on its car modes, and like, however stodgy and uncool this car may be,the job they did turnin' it into a Transformer? Smashed it!Like check it out, so opulently outfitted with four functioning doors, a bitey engine bonnet,and an interior that actually seems like a pretty chill place to be.I should mention - his front seats popped out one time and I just can't get them back in there for the life of me, so they're an accessory now.And thank Heavens this is the Takara one with that dense-ass die cast and without those loathsome Smash-Mouth-ass flame tampos.Cheeky rust patch there. Bonus!I'd also be remiss not to say that something about this definitely smells of Ironhide, who was conspicuously absent from the Alternators castand this chunky chariot with its roundy ridgey helmet would have been a perfect fit for himbut I'm guessing maybe the Toyota reps insisted on blue so they subbed him out for Skids at the last minute?I don't know that for a fact, but that would be so typical of how Skids has been handled!I mean, pound for pound, this is probably the best Skids toy ever, and if it only happened through a fluke,as a last resort to fulfil an external obligation, that would be a perfect Skids manoeuvre!Fatshame if you must - this is iconic.So all things considered, I feel like Binaltech Skidneybean actually holds up pretty well!That whole era just had such a vibe, man. Like, it seemed so buzzed to be bringin' Transformers back to its original realistic automotive soul,it was so clearly built with love, and it friggin' meant it!And then the movies happened.Now, much as I have heavily mixed feelings about the movies, I will always defend the design philosophy.'Cos it's never been entirely to my tastes but I've always been able to find things in it that I liked,it's an aspect of the brand that a lot of people legitimately really love,it's extremely valid, and it's financially enabled other areas of the franchise to thrive.You wanna make Titan Class Scorponok happen, you gotta sell through a few cases of Bumblebees, okay? We know this.And like, much as I detest the mindset of #NotMyTransformers, this is very much not my Skids. You don't wanna see my Skids.And it's not like he's even got anything to do with this Skids! As we've seen - just a name. We can share.I'm not tryna be the "ruined my childhood" guy. It's just, this guy sucks!'Cos I dunno about you, but for me, with the movie bots, there's always that little pang of "hm, that's not what he looks like!""Ratchet ain't green!"But with most of them, it's really not that hard to accept. Like, Soundwave doesn't really look like Soundwave,but he's doing sneaky communication stuff, he's got speakers on him, that works.And even with the ones who just share the name, it's really not that hard to separate this guy from that guy.Like, that's not Hot Rod as I know him, but okay! Lets see what you got!But with Skids it's more like,f**k you.He's an intentionally annoying dumbass character in an equally annoying dumbass moviewith an intentionally horrible design and racist overtones and they so obviously named him "Skids" BECAUSE it sounds like shitting.That's the kind of lowbrow level we're working on here. The lowest of the browest.But the toy's not bad, as they go!'Cos generally, the Revenge of the Fallen toys were pretty great! Like, it's well made, heavily detailed and feature rich,it's a bit visually busy and heavily kibblesome, but that is what he looks like!Articulation's all right, he's got some amusingly useless but unobtrusive gimmicks...(laughs) Come on!(wheezelaughs)...and as is dependable for the filmformers, the car mode's actually pretty snazzy. It has the snazz.But the problem with this toy is that it is a toy of the character that it is of.I just hate him. Look at his face. Screw this guy.I hardly think this is a wild take, but Skids and Mudflap really are one of THE low points in the whole history of Transformers.And the real kicker is that THIS Skids has so much more of a presence than the Skids I like -more screen time, certainly more toys - which makes this dipshit snotgoblin the dominant version of Skids.And he's the WORST Skids! He's like the villain of the Skids!Friggin' Jolt makes a better Skids than Skids.He's just the absolute essence of every problem the movies had distilled and magnified and dumbed down even more somehowand injected directly into your brain hole and we're all worse off for the experience.Hm! Still a sore point, apparently.Guess we should briefly throw in this Legion class version in his seldom-seen cybergoth deco from Dark of the Moonwhere, in what was admittedly a very Skids move, he was dropped from the film!Ahh, you hate to see it.Anyway, things soon picked up a little bit for Skids when he once again returned to his blue rootsin the 2013 chapter of Generations!Now, you know me. Generations is my jam!Movieverse is my marmalade!Beast Wars is mybovril.So this is one that we reviewed at the time. Don't watch it, it's a shit video. It's aged horribly!But at the time, I was really enjoying the direction that Generations seemed to be moving in!Like, they were going hard IDW style, we had underground fan faves coming out like Jhiaxus and Chromia,bit of Armada and Beast Wars on the go, it was rad! I couldn't wait to see where it was going!And to be fair it was a pretty interesting two months,because then the Prime Wars came in and steamrolled everything back to borin' old crowd-pleasing G1which, can't complain! I loved the Prime Wars. I love crowd-pleasing G1. I am in the crowd.But such an abrupt aesthetic reversion did kinda leave Skids and Trailcutter and...that Mini-con thing out in the cold, 'cos now they stand out from the crowd, but for the wrong reasons!This doesn't look like an interesting departure anymore. This is an abberation!And the thing is, it ain't even good!Like, I still love the bouncy little supermini alt-mode, and it's always nice to see a bit of Head Hood Flip Flap action.That is Skids culture.But like, the colour's all wrong. The feet are hopeless! The shoulders are dogshit!The face is straight up unsettling and the guns come off very overcompensatey. It's just not much fun!And it's such a shame, 'cos this really felt like a big break for old Skidney Poitier.Like, he was finally gettin' into a decent run in the comics where he found his feet as an enigmatic amnesiac adventurerwith the superpower of Megalearning!Friggin' nerd.But even in the timeline where Skids got to be awesome, he still wound up with a devastating downer ending, where -all right, spoilers in 3, 2, 1...he became so ashamed of himself that his soul exploded and then he quietly slunk off to his death, face down, crawling on his bellyand then his dearest friend in the universe effectively had all her memories of him surgically erased from her brain!?(sighs) So let me get this right - not only did Skids die for basically no reason,what was it? Something about a temporary team buff that they didn't really need anyway because Megatron was there and he am strong?Not only that, but then they did a whole follow-up episode about how nobody gave a shit!How her best mate went out of her way not to give a shit!I'm oversimplifying, but that IS what happened.Like - is that the cost of Skids catching a break?Does the universe so despise this guy that any success whatsoever is met with being massacred out of existence?Out of other peoples' minds!? What else could you do to him?Do you wanna individually annihilate every one of his molecules while we're at it!?Honestly, the disrespect!Alright, that's the end of the spoilers.Anyway, where are we now? What's the latest?Well, full transparency, I was actually hedgin' my bets making this video for a bit'cos part of me hoped there might be a new Skids coming from the War For Cybertron trilogythat'd be in keeping with its budget Masterpiece aesthetic and excellent track recordbut seeing as how basically the entire line-up's been revealed or leaked through whatever source with nary a whiff of Skiddy goodnessthis is still the latest go-to modern version of ol' Steak and Skidneyand it happens to come from the brief pocket of time when everything was purposely obtuse for one summer.I can't be mad that they tried something different, but we've moved on. It's been 7 years! Everyone else has had a do-over!Chromia, friggin' Hoist, Doubledealer, Springer!Everyone loved that Springer and he still got another one!But not Skids! We're still making do with this outmoded disinfectant spook.I just can't believe that we now have updated crowd-pleasing G1 versions of practically every character ever except Skids.I think Generations Skids is the perfect toy to be in this situation because it will not stand!'Cos for one thing, as a creator of content, I kinda like my videos to peak somewhere.We gotta give our boy an unambiguous win! We need that denouement!And for that, I'm afraid we must abandon the official timeline and instead stray into the wilds of unlicensed fanfic!WoOoOoOoOoOo!Yes indeed, put 'em up if you will for Master X Series Savant from stalwart third party animals X-Transbotswhich I'm fairly comfortable with calling the closest we're ever gonna get to a Masterpiece Skids!'Cos check this out! XTB Savant is a breathtakingly beautiful piece presenting a level of life-affirming luxury and understated gracethat require me to refer to it as "a piece".Like, right away it feels amazing in hand! It's weighty and solid and smooth with a heavy quality plastic feel and tasteful metal where appropriate- unlike this channel.The joints are strong and silky and responsive and God, he just looks so friggin' good!Just the fact that there exists a nice quality, collector grade figure of any character with that friggin' workaday Honda hood for a body.My soul is so full right now!Bit weird that he hasn't got the signature hood square but HAS got the irregular neck to accommodate itbut whatever! Sorry! Can't hear you over the song in my heart!But if we must critique it, and we must, this is a review, I suppose I should say the colours are an interesting mix.Like you've got that classic toyetic deep shiny indigo,alongside this much tamer TV show powder blue, which I guess works?Like, of all the characters out there, I don't know if Skids needed the cartoon homage treatment.No harm done! I still like it, but did you have to?The only real carryovers you could even include from the cartoon are like, the pale arms with the cool little red-spotted shoulder bracers,that weirdly tall, narrow face with dreamlike non-features,and like... blanched knees? I dunno.Weapons are also weirdly screen-weighted and both quite uncomfortable looking,like this weird little twin-zap laser pointer thing that looks like it should go in his hand but doesn't,you can just see his entire hand through it,and this other one's just all sack and no shaft.I dunno. It's the kind of silly sci-fi weaponry that's probably technically quite helpful in some way,but you're not gonna be the one who takes out Blitzwing, are ya.It's not a big deal though! It's just a weird one.Like, this is a figure with a lot of tiny, needly, unfortunate titbits, but none of it even touches how gorgeous it is!It's giving me everything. You've only gotta look!It's got the sweet shiny stripy doors and the little windscreen pistons, it's got the giant red brogues and shins made out of a quarter of a car,It's got that sort of *chef's kiss*, y'know? That sorta je ne sais quoi.That, erm... y'know, the, uh, it's got the, uh...[intro to "The Touch" plays]Nah, too obvious.Transformation's extremely achievable, albeit with a mild case of that peculiar third party insistence on overcomplication.Like, the legs and bod are all suitably sensible and simple, so I'm really not sure why the arms have to be this complex.There's all like, tiny tabs and two or three layers of panels orbiting around the forearmsbut baby, when you get there!?Look, I don't wanna get hyperbolic over here. Half of my slogan is "keepin' it real",but this might just be the car mode of my dreams!That is, I don't know if it's actually a completely accurate Honda City Tubro -I don't know if it really has that irregular bumper grille, or right-side steering with the petrol cap on the offside rear,but it looks like Skids and it's stunning!It's still that same appealingly cheerful, delightfully down-to-Earth little motor, but just more!It just manages to perfectly upscale the vibe without overdoing it or inserting nerdy in-jokes.Look at this thing. It's so cute and classy. There's so much love and craftsmanship on showfrom those bright-eyed headlights to the indestructible rubber wing mirrors and the... asspipe.It gives you that real-feel tyre squish and the paintjob's got me swimmin' in an ocean of indigo!And look, Skids might not be the coolest Autobot, but he really cornered the market on havin' doors.And check this out, this is ridiculous. They've actually given him the little foldy-up scooter from the Diaclone days!He didn't even have this in Transformers! This is like, pre-G1. This is Pre-1!That is possibly the deepest ever cut.This is a cut so deep that it went all the way through and out the other side.This is a deep cut exit wound.Tell ya what though - not a fan of this box! Yes, we're going there.Like, I appreciate that it's nice and petite and doesn't waste any cupboard space, and the artwork's actually pretty sick,but, God, X-Transbots, hire a designer!Too many fonts! Too small! Too ugly!What is this live-laugh-love-ass Karencore garbage!?Why would you do this!? It's a good figure! You've gotta -Is that... Deathsaurus's dog?Look, trivialities aside, X-Transbots Savant is just a beautiful thing.This is a nigh-flawless collector market Skids with at least an equal indulgence factor as a high-level Masterpiece!This is the best Skids has ever looked and I am besotted.You down with XTB? Yeah, you know me.[voiceover] But ultimately, however good it is, however happy it makes me,part of me knows that the work of some law-bending copycat company doesn't count for jack in the official timeline.It was all a dream. Offside. Disqualified.And in the cold, unforgiving light of the real world, we instead close out the story of Skids on his last known sightingin Q-Transformers.Wow. Name a bigger downgrade.Not that there's a damn thing wrong with Q-Transformers!They're excellent harmless fun! I definitely enjoy their absurdly cute super-squat uniform tumpand this squishy little sky blue Suzukiis extraordinarily endearingbut the fact that THIS is the most recent real-world Skids representation - doesn't it kinda feel like the final indignity?'Cos while so many of his brothers, like Prowl and Ironhide, have had all kinds of updates and Masterpiecesand most recently, two cool-ass hyper-modern mainline figures, EACH, in the last 18 months, AND Q-Transformers,Skids has just been relegated to novelty cameo status, excluded from every modern mainstream toyline,adrift in a limbo of Hasbro's making.And honestly, it's a travesty that a guy who started out as such a stunning figure with such a distinctive personalityhas been allowed to stagnate like this!Come on! Wouldn't the modern-day Autobot family just feel a smidge more complete with a nifty little navy blue supermini on the go?But at this point I feel like it's never gonna happen, because Skids just doesn't seem to fit. He's not cool enough. He's not marketable enough.He was never gonna be as badass as Sideswipe, or as stylish as Sunstreaker, or as instantly iconic as Wheeljack.When there are so many other, objectively cooler characters and only so much limelight to go around,how's an absent-minded theoretician supposed to keep up with the Dinobots?He's just another guy. He's not even ANother guy; he's THE other guy. The definitive forgotten son of G1.But maybe that's just how Skids has to be! Maybe the reason he doesn't show up more often is that he doesn't have to.Because this handful of scattered misfit appearances does kinda give him a certain underdog swaggerand maybe that's more valuable than being rehashed every year as a Combiner, or a Headmaster, or a power of a prime.Skids just might be the low-key patron saint of less is more and maybe it's me who needs to respect that!What if I'M the problem!?Is it me!? Am I being that stubborn unpleasable fanboy I always make fun of who looks at the bounties that surround him and still gets upset'cos he can't have the one hyper-specific thing that he wants? "Uuhh, Hasblow!" That ain't me!Is it?Look, of course it sucks to watch a character you like struggle to find their placeand it's natural to want success and mainstream acceptance for them,but maybe it never happened for Skids not because of mishandling or incompetence,but because that's life. Not everybody makes it.And maybe that's what all these stories have been trying to tell me all along:that Skids's role in all this is to be the one that we lose.To be forgotten.And maybe it's on me now......to let him go.No!Hasbro, I swear to God, I want Transformers Kingdom Deluxe Class Skids on my desk by Friday!Tonton, I know you have it, you HAVE to hook me up.Oh boy! That was fun! Huge thanks to everybody who's hooked me up with Skidses:that's Opsimathics, Jolene, Chris over at Rodimus Minor reviews, and a fella named James!And of course a big Patrony shoutout to Adam Skarnes for supporting the show. You made it all possible, baby!Right! More to be done. Catch you on the flipside!Be sure to subscribe for more Thew's Awesome Transformers Reviews.Limited appeal, keepin' it real.

SKIDS: The Most Disrespected Autobot

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< ?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8" ?><>
<text sub="clublinks" start="7.84" dur="3.52">What up, team! Er, shall we do a big 'un? I'm up for it! I'm feeling the format.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="11.36" dur="5.241">So take my hand as today we pay much-needed tribute to a certain attention-starved Autobot</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="16.601" dur="6.639">who's been sidelined, backbenched, dismissed, and straight up disrespected for too many years, in too many ways!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="23.24" dur="6.252">Yes friends, this is the story of perennial Autobot afterthought Skids, that stunningly stylish compact cubelad</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="29.492" dur="3.468">who's all too often passed over for new toys and new roles.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="32.96" dur="5.777">This poor sod has been with Transformers since its earliest days and yet is relentlessly overlooked</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="38.738" dur="4.302">- but not in this house! For today, Skids gets his due - Thew style!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="43.56" dur="5.36">So yes, in-universe, poor old Skidward here was so painfully under-utilised in classic media</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="48.92" dur="5.717">that his whole presence was pretty much a quiet sloppy fart until he finally hit his stride in his thirties.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="54.637" dur="0.662">Same.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="55.299" dur="5.341">I mean, did he get to do anything in G1? Like, he did show up on screen, but he was pretty much just a spectator</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="60.64" dur="7.04">apart from that one time he got run over and then they used his lifeless husk in some kind of gruesome robot gore throne.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="67.943" dur="0.632">My hero.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="68.575" dur="4.705">While in print, he's probably most famous for receiving a weirdly horny soapy sponge bath</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="73.28" dur="4.48">but the only thing he ever did that I remember was that time he, uh, exploded into oblivion.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="77.76" dur="2.56">That's so him. That's his signature move.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="80.32" dur="4.48">But like so much of what's wrong with the world, I feel like it mostly comes down to mismanagement.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="84.8" dur="4.32">That is, in the early '80s, the Hasbro team had such a mammoth task on their hands</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="89.12" dur="6.56">with so many characters to develop and market, and Skids just always seemed to be the one to slip through the cracks.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="95.68" dur="8.513">His was very much a toy tasked with bringin' up the rear, just barely scrapin' onto shelves without a firm place in the 1984 or '85 lineups,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="104.193" dur="4.767">lumbered with the last job title in the bucket, a desperately dull character bio,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="108.96" dur="4.458">and a name that - while stil technically automotive - always makes you think about poopoo.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="113.418" dur="7.197">And it really chafes my arse that he's been such a nonentity, 'cos for me, G1 Skids is easily one of the best original Autobot cars!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="120.64" dur="1.584">I'm friggin' serious. Top 3!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="122.224" dur="4.976">'Cos check it out! This is a gorgeous figure that takes that quintessential carformer design -</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="127.2" dur="2">hood chest, wing doors, all the hits -</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="129.2" dur="5.52">and totally makes it his own with a unique chonky square lad style that nobody else could pull off!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="134.72" dur="1.6">That nobody else has really TRIED to pull off.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="136.32" dur="8.16">He just gleams in a very particular and very pleasing way in that wonderful deep metallic blue with all classic retro silvery stickers,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="144.48" dur="5.28">cheeky red plastic fists and feet and pants and little chromey roundy headlight nips!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="149.76" dur="2.595">And I get that physically he's a bit doofy lookin'.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="152.355" dur="6.365">He doesn't exactly give off badass warrior energy with his weirdly leggy height and awkward elbowless arms</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="158.72" dur="3.36">but does that make him lesser than his peers? This is textbook G1!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="162.08" dur="5.12">Like, he's got the requisite stack of silvery weapons and the rocket launcher that I'm not sure ever worked,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="167.2" dur="4.141">the articulation's objectively pathetic, and he's still fun in spite of that.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="171.341" dur="3.539">That's what we like about G1! This is as real as it gets!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="174.88" dur="5.657">Skids is livin' that first-wave '80s kitsch life and he doesn't need YOU to validate him.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="181.394" dur="2">But I do. Tell him he's handsome.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="185.273" dur="0.5">Say it.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="192.184" dur="3.516">Transformation - just like the man - is irresistible!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="195.7" dur="4.795">Just an elegant and uncomplicated foldy-down crumplestiltskids kind of affair</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="200.495" dur="4.294">with a distinctive signature manoeuvre that I like to call the head flap hood flip!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="204.789" dur="4.557">Like, the bonnet boings open and the little robo head rotates around and folds away</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="209.346" dur="3.294">hence why he doesn't have that ugly neck void that so many of 'em do.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="212.64" dur="2.24">It's a strong move, and it's all his!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="214.88" dur="4.32">And this Honda City Turbo alt mode is such a happy little hump of a thing!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="219.2" dur="6.08">Look, you KNOW I'm a sucker for a chunky blue minimobile, and Skids is the truest of the bluest.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="225.28" dur="3.07">It just melts me, man, it's like my direct weakness.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="228.35" dur="5.747">'Cos, okay, from a professional vintage toy appraisal point of view it's got the rubber tyres and the rubsign</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="234.097" dur="2.383">and the bit of die cast that the collectors crave</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="236.48" dur="6.88">and the working doors and boot make it technically more full-featured than most of the contemporary Autobot cars of the era</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="243.36" dur="2.862">but internally I'm just screamin' with glee!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="246.222" dur="5.138">I wanna cuddle this thing all day long! I wanna pat it on the head like a hamster and feed it a raisin.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="251.36" dur="5.44">I am bewitched. How is the world not in love with this thing!? How have we not had 50 of these?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="256.8" dur="7.84">I dunno. I guess 'cos its not like a sexy sports car or a badass battle mobile. I imagine that's why they gave this one the boring backstory.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="264.64" dur="5.08">'Cos when you're workin' with a team of awesome alien supercars, who'd wanna be the harmless hatchback?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="269.72" dur="5.164">Lookin' like this ain't gonna make you a megastar but it definitely makes Skids feel more grounded in reality</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="274.884" dur="3.16">and that's more what I want from a robot in disguise.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="278.044" dur="4.516">There could be four of these parked on my street right now and I wouldn't even raise an invisible eyebrow!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="282.56" dur="8.186">This tidy little runabout is just way more relatable than the cool kids who turn into, like, space Lamborghinis, and one specific race car.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="290.746" dur="3.494">Great disguise, lads, you'll blend right in. Haven't you seen Drive?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="294.24" dur="2.71">Doot-de-doot-de-doooo!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="296.95" dur="4.256">Ooh, the Adorable Tiny Car Mode Doot-de-Doo, that's...</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="301.6" dur="1.92">MERCHANDISABLE!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="303.52" dur="7.264">So, do you see what I mean? Skids is a truly singular starlet with an enchantingly unique design and a ton of earnest Autobot heart</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="310.784" dur="4.736">and he's probably the most enduringly Diacloney out of all the original imported car boys.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="316.92" dur="6.352">I mean, he's been so underutilised in Transformers that it almost feels more natural to think of this as a Diaclone toy!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="323.272" dur="4.855">Maybe I watch too much Basics, too much Toy Galaxy - if there is such a thing -</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="328.127" dur="7.412">but I can more easily picture this toy scootin' around one of those adorable miniature blue-sky city sets on some Takara TV ad</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="335.539" dur="3.725">than... shootin' lasers at Decepticons? He doesn't do that.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="339.264" dur="7.026">But even with all that in mind, this is still, for me, the last official Skids toy that really looked or felt like Skids</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="346.29" dur="6.044">'cos even in a world obsessed with nostalgia, Skids hasn't ever really managed to make much of a meaningful comeback.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="352.334" dur="6.38">I mean, there have been a few new Skids kids, but they've all been either heavy interpretations or like, weird abstract offshoots.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="359.202" dur="6.878">Take for example Robots In Disguise Skid-Z, who's... all right, it's clearly not the same guy, but he's got the name, kind of!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="366.08" dur="2">What is that, Skid-Zuh?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="368.08" dur="1.643">Skid-Zee?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="369.723" dur="1.157">Skid-Zed?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="370.88" dur="1.6">What kind of Gobot-ass name is that?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="372.48" dur="1.508">Come on, Rest-Q!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="373.988" dur="4.637">But look, RID Skid-Z here definitely had a whole thing goin' on, turning in a wonderful performance</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="378.625" dur="6.996">as a turbo-revvin' young punk with a compulsive racing addiction 'cos he accidentally scanned a Formula 1 driver's ghost!?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="385.621" dur="1.579">Maybe Skid-Z is haunted!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="387.885" dur="0.5">Brilliant.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="388.385" dur="3.935">So Zedhead here is clearly not affiliated with our humble Hondabot -</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="392.32" dur="4.379">he's much more of a Mirage-a-like, based as he is on the Machine Wars Mirage figure</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="396.699" dur="2.821">which in turn was based on a cancelled design from G2.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="399.52" dur="7.64">There was a lot of that around back then - RID, Machine Wars, Robot Masters, Beast Wars II - they were all drippin' with G2 overspill.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="407.16" dur="3.011">But those were some solid figures, man! They deserved a bit of action!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="410.171" dur="5.033">They were a laugh, they had a lot to offer, and they hadn't really dated for 5 or 6 years.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="416.068" dur="0.732">Big mood.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="416.8" dur="7.293">Anyway, the robot mode's possibly a bit sorta graceless and baggy with the oversized racecar chest and awkward stumpy limbs</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="424.093" dur="7.085">but he still poses all right, kind of, and he looks straight up swish in this bold mix of shiny magenta, metallic teal,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="431.96" dur="6.44">and cool neutral beige which may or may not have once been white with a mighty smack of heavenly light piping!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="438.4" dur="6.728">And being a child of gimmick-obsessed G2, he's naturally built around this ace little flipchange automorph lever</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="445.128" dur="3.938">and as for this flamboyant F1 mode, damn is that some flair!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="449.066" dur="4.23">Check it out with its smooth cruisin' grooves and ballsy racing chops!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="453.296" dur="7.026">And I dunno if it's just me, but there's somethin' about this that feels kinda 50s with the kinda cream soda colours and the Coca-Cola ribbon,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="460.54" dur="1.019">like a Coke float,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="461.559" dur="4.23">flashin' some classic Chevy fender bulge with the double-wide wing styles!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="465.789" dur="1.891">This is as excitin' as were gettin' today!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="467.68" dur="4.766">Because the next time the Skid-Z name would pop up after this guy was on an Armada Mini-con.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="472.446" dur="1.554">And a shitty one, too!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="474" dur="6.669">Like, after they ran out of ideas for actual Armada toys, they ended up having to shove out a bunch of Beast Wars Transmetal recolours</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="480.669" dur="4.771">to bulk up the later waves, and Skid-Z was just the name they slapped on a Mini-con</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="485.44" dur="3.427">- one of TWO Mini-cons that they threw in with one of those!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="488.867" dur="3.133">Talk about slummin' it! More like Skid-Z-List.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="492" dur="8.48">So we're gonna move past that and instead jump ahead to Skids's first semi-successful return to his blocky blue bod in Alternators/Binaltech</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="500.48" dur="2.416">- the line so dicey they named it twicey -</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="502.896" dur="5.264">which, as we covered not that long ago, was some of the first G1 revival stuff from the mid-2000s.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="508.16" dur="7.68">This was the original 1984 resurgence, so it should have been the perfect spot for Skids to muscle in and stake his place in the big leagues!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="515.84" dur="3.506">But much as I hate to say it, he kinda seemed like a joke?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="519.346" dur="3.16">'Cos look at this bloody thing! It's such a dorkus!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="522.506" dur="5.494">It just comes off so droopy and daft with the strange sloping beer belly body type</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="528" dur="4">dwarfing his weirdly weedy arms and miserable little pistol.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="532.44" dur="4.52">But still, it is kinda brilliant! Say what you want, this is a serious machine!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="536.96" dur="6.08">He's definitely got that incredibly specific Binaltech bombast, positively bloated with visual bang,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="543.04" dur="3.992">heftily hearty handfeel and lavish labyrinthine engineering</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="547.032" dur="6.728">with those legit headlgihts and brutal bumper, heavy black shoulder straps and always-on active steering!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="553.76" dur="3.501">And like, the legs are lumpy as shit, but they're so alive!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="557.261" dur="5.939">You got these major shin bumpers, cheeky silver thighs with bruisin' black knee spikes,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="563.2" dur="4">and these dumpy trapezium shoes are so disarmingly inelegant!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="567.2" dur="2">Put it this way - how are you gonna forget this thing?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="569.2" dur="8.24">It's an incomparably clumpy-ass charismatic chungus with incredible Autobot energy and it absolutely will not be ignored!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="589.6" dur="3.84">That's gotta be one of the most far-out transformations ever, man.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="593.44" dur="2.981">Like, even for a Binal boy, this is some freaky shit!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="596.421" dur="6.459">His entire boob region untabs and stretches way out on a stick with his head on another stick,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="602.88" dur="5.539">literally everythig flips and spins and then his arms tuck into the back of his neck!?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="608.419" dur="6.847">Honestly, if you consider yourself a Transformer enthusiast, you gotta check this thing out in person at least once, for research.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="615.266" dur="5.054">But yes, this is how Binaltech chose to update old Skids as a hulking Toyota baby.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="620.32" dur="6.312">Y'all know Binaltech lives and dies on its car modes, and like, however stodgy and uncool this car may be,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="626.632" dur="3.219">the job they did turnin' it into a Transformer? Smashed it!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="629.851" dur="6.08">Like check it out, so opulently outfitted with four functioning doors, a bitey engine bonnet,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="635.931" dur="3.235">and an interior that actually seems like a pretty chill place to be.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="639.166" dur="6.274">I should mention - his front seats popped out one time and I just can't get them back in there for the life of me, so they're an accessory now.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="645.44" dur="8.16">And thank Heavens this is the Takara one with that dense-ass die cast and without those loathsome Smash-Mouth-ass flame tampos.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="653.6" dur="1.732">Cheeky rust patch there. Bonus!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="655.332" dur="7.868">I'd also be remiss not to say that something about this definitely smells of Ironhide, who was conspicuously absent from the Alternators cast</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="663.2" dur="4.8">and this chunky chariot with its roundy ridgey helmet would have been a perfect fit for him</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="668" dur="5.479">but I'm guessing maybe the Toyota reps insisted on blue so they subbed him out for Skids at the last minute?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="673.479" dur="4.379">I don't know that for a fact, but that would be so typical of how Skids has been handled!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="677.858" dur="5.342">I mean, pound for pound, this is probably the best Skids toy ever, and if it only happened through a fluke,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="683.2" dur="5.44">as a last resort to fulfil an external obligation, that would be a perfect Skids manoeuvre!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="688.64" dur="1.762">Fatshame if you must - this is iconic.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="690.402" dur="4.409">So all things considered, I feel like Binaltech Skidneybean actually holds up pretty well!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="694.811" dur="8.096">That whole era just had such a vibe, man. Like, it seemed so buzzed to be bringin' Transformers back to its original realistic automotive soul,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="702.907" dur="3.368">it was so clearly built with love, and it friggin' meant it!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="707.364" dur="1.276">And then the movies happened.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="709.16" dur="6.04">Now, much as I have heavily mixed feelings about the movies, I will always defend the design philosophy.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="715.2" dur="4.8">'Cos it's never been entirely to my tastes but I've always been able to find things in it that I liked,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="720.038" dur="3.606">it's an aspect of the brand that a lot of people legitimately really love,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="723.648" dur="4.676">it's extremely valid, and it's financially enabled other areas of the franchise to thrive.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="728.324" dur="5.116">You wanna make Titan Class Scorponok happen, you gotta sell through a few cases of Bumblebees, okay? We know this.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="733.44" dur="8.335">And like, much as I detest the mindset of #NotMyTransformers, this is very much not my Skids. You don't wanna see my Skids.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="741.775" dur="4.465">And it's not like he's even got anything to do with this Skids! As we've seen - just a name. We can share.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="746.24" dur="3.933">I'm not tryna be the "ruined my childhood" guy. It's just, this guy sucks!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="750.173" dur="5.347">'Cos I dunno about you, but for me, with the movie bots, there's always that little pang of "hm, that's not what he looks like!"</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="755.52" dur="1.197">"Ratchet ain't green!"</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="756.717" dur="4.439">But with most of them, it's really not that hard to accept. Like, Soundwave doesn't really look like Soundwave,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="761.156" dur="3.963">but he's doing sneaky communication stuff, he's got speakers on him, that works.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="765.119" dur="4.641">And even with the ones who just share the name, it's really not that hard to separate this guy from that guy.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="769.76" dur="3.2">Like, that's not Hot Rod as I know him, but okay! Lets see what you got!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="772.96" dur="2">But with Skids it's more like,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="775.2" dur="0.971">f**k you.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="776.171" dur="5.331">He's an intentionally annoying dumbass character in an equally annoying dumbass movie</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="781.502" dur="7.65">with an intentionally horrible design and racist overtones and they so obviously named him "Skids" BECAUSE it sounds like shitting.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="789.152" dur="4.448">That's the kind of lowbrow level we're working on here. The lowest of the browest.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="793.6" dur="2">But the toy's not bad, as they go!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="795.6" dur="5.955">'Cos generally, the Revenge of the Fallen toys were pretty great! Like, it's well made, heavily detailed and feature rich,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="801.555" dur="4.525">it's a bit visually busy and heavily kibblesome, but that is what he looks like!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="806.08" dur="4.944">Articulation's all right, he's got some amusingly useless but unobtrusive gimmicks...</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="811.568" dur="2">(laughs) Come on!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="816.739" dur="1.465">(wheezelaughs)</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="818.24" dur="5.003">...and as is dependable for the filmformers, the car mode's actually pretty snazzy. It has the snazz.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="823.243" dur="5.479">But the problem with this toy is that it is a toy of the character that it is of.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="828.722" dur="3.678">I just hate him. Look at his face. Screw this guy.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="832.4" dur="7.44">I hardly think this is a wild take, but Skids and Mudflap really are one of THE low points in the whole history of Transformers.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="839.84" dur="4.885">And the real kicker is that THIS Skids has so much more of a presence than the Skids I like -</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="844.725" dur="6.639">more screen time, certainly more toys - which makes this dipshit snotgoblin the dominant version of Skids.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="851.364" dur="3.356">And he's the WORST Skids! He's like the villain of the Skids!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="854.72" dur="2.88">Friggin' Jolt makes a better Skids than Skids.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="857.6" dur="8.185">He's just the absolute essence of every problem the movies had distilled and magnified and dumbed down even more somehow</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="865.785" dur="5.095">and injected directly into your brain hole and we're all worse off for the experience.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="870.88" dur="1.6">Hm! Still a sore point, apparently.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="872.48" dur="5.76">Guess we should briefly throw in this Legion class version in his seldom-seen cybergoth deco from Dark of the Moon</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="878.24" dur="4.8">where, in what was admittedly a very Skids move, he was dropped from the film!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="883.04" dur="1.2">Ahh, you hate to see it.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="884.844" dur="4.617">Anyway, things soon picked up a little bit for Skids when he once again returned to his blue roots</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="890.102" dur="2.818">in the 2013 chapter of Generations!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="892.92" dur="2.486">Now, you know me. Generations is my jam!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="895.4" dur="1.4">Movieverse is my marmalade!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="896.8" dur="1.108">Beast Wars is my</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="899.18" dur="0.82">bovril.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="900" dur="4.48">So this is one that we reviewed at the time. Don't watch it, it's a shit video. It's aged horribly!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="904.48" dur="4.16">But at the time, I was really enjoying the direction that Generations seemed to be moving in!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="909.621" dur="6.219">Like, they were going hard IDW style, we had underground fan faves coming out like Jhiaxus and Chromia,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="915.84" dur="4.6">bit of Armada and Beast Wars on the go, it was rad! I couldn't wait to see where it was going!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="920.44" dur="2.44">And to be fair it was a pretty interesting two months,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="922.88" dur="5.925">because then the Prime Wars came in and steamrolled everything back to borin' old crowd-pleasing G1</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="928.805" dur="4.647">which, can't complain! I loved the Prime Wars. I love crowd-pleasing G1. I am in the crowd.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="933.452" dur="5.271">But such an abrupt aesthetic reversion did kinda leave Skids and Trailcutter and</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="939.037" dur="5.301">...that Mini-con thing out in the cold, 'cos now they stand out from the crowd, but for the wrong reasons!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="944.338" dur="3.982">This doesn't look like an interesting departure anymore. This is an abberation!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="948.32" dur="2">And the thing is, it ain't even good!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="950.32" dur="5.895">Like, I still love the bouncy little supermini alt-mode, and it's always nice to see a bit of Head Hood Flip Flap action.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="956.215" dur="1.316">That is Skids culture.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="957.531" dur="4.885">But like, the colour's all wrong. The feet are hopeless! The shoulders are dogshit!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="962.416" dur="6.762">The face is straight up unsettling and the guns come off very overcompensatey. It's just not much fun!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="969.178" dur="4.422">And it's such a shame, 'cos this really felt like a big break for old Skidney Poitier.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="973.6" dur="5.925">Like, he was finally gettin' into a decent run in the comics where he found his feet as an enigmatic amnesiac adventurer</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="979.525" dur="2.555">with the superpower of Megalearning!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="982.08" dur="0.781">Friggin' nerd.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="982.861" dur="5.926">But even in the timeline where Skids got to be awesome, he still wound up with a devastating downer ending, where -</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="988.787" dur="3.13">all right, spoilers in 3, 2, 1...</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="991.917" dur="8.563">he became so ashamed of himself that his soul exploded and then he quietly slunk off to his death, face down, crawling on his belly</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1000.48" dur="6.52">and then his dearest friend in the universe effectively had all her memories of him surgically erased from her brain!?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1007" dur="4.36">(sighs) So let me get this right - not only did Skids die for basically no reason,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1011.36" dur="6.56">what was it? Something about a temporary team buff that they didn't really need anyway because Megatron was there and he am strong?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1017.92" dur="4.64">Not only that, but then they did a whole follow-up episode about how nobody gave a shit!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1022.56" dur="3.52">How her best mate went out of her way not to give a shit!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1026.08" dur="2.387">I'm oversimplifying, but that IS what happened.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1028.467" dur="2.573">Like - is that the cost of Skids catching a break?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1031.04" dur="7.04">Does the universe so despise this guy that any success whatsoever is met with being massacred out of existence?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1038.08" dur="3.68">Out of other peoples' minds!? What else could you do to him?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1041.76" dur="4.111">Do you wanna individually annihilate every one of his molecules while we're at it!?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1045.871" dur="2.922">Honestly, the disrespect!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1050.689" dur="1.167">Alright, that's the end of the spoilers.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1051.856" dur="1.704">Anyway, where are we now? What's the latest?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1053.56" dur="3.88">Well, full transparency, I was actually hedgin' my bets making this video for a bit</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1057.44" dur="4">'cos part of me hoped there might be a new Skids coming from the War For Cybertron trilogy</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1061.44" dur="4.141">that'd be in keeping with its budget Masterpiece aesthetic and excellent track record</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1065.581" dur="6.899">but seeing as how basically the entire line-up's been revealed or leaked through whatever source with nary a whiff of Skiddy goodness</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1072.48" dur="4.438">this is still the latest go-to modern version of ol' Steak and Skidney</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1076.918" dur="5.482">and it happens to come from the brief pocket of time when everything was purposely obtuse for one summer.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1082.4" dur="6.381">I can't be mad that they tried something different, but we've moved on. It's been 7 years! Everyone else has had a do-over!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1088.8" dur="3.2">Chromia, friggin' Hoist, Doubledealer, Springer!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1092" dur="3">Everyone loved that Springer and he still got another one!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1095" dur="5">But not Skids! We're still making do with this outmoded disinfectant spook.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1100" dur="8.013">I just can't believe that we now have updated crowd-pleasing G1 versions of practically every character ever except Skids.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1108.013" dur="5.267">I think Generations Skids is the perfect toy to be in this situation because it will not stand!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1113.28" dur="4.32">'Cos for one thing, as a creator of content, I kinda like my videos to peak somewhere.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1117.6" dur="3.338">We gotta give our boy an unambiguous win! We need that denouement!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1120.938" dur="7.085">And for that, I'm afraid we must abandon the official timeline and instead stray into the wilds of unlicensed fanfic!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1128.023" dur="1.417">WoOoOoOoOoOo!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1129.88" dur="6.64">Yes indeed, put 'em up if you will for Master X Series Savant from stalwart third party animals X-Transbots</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1136.52" dur="5.72">which I'm fairly comfortable with calling the closest we're ever gonna get to a Masterpiece Skids!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1142.24" dur="7.76">'Cos check this out! XTB Savant is a breathtakingly beautiful piece presenting a level of life-affirming luxury and understated grace</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1150" dur="2.297">that require me to refer to it as "a piece".</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1152.297" dur="8.81">Like, right away it feels amazing in hand! It's weighty and solid and smooth with a heavy quality plastic feel and tasteful metal where appropriate</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1161.107" dur="0.973">- unlike this channel.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1162.08" dur="5.628">The joints are strong and silky and responsive and God, he just looks so friggin' good!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1167.708" dur="7.888">Just the fact that there exists a nice quality, collector grade figure of any character with that friggin' workaday Honda hood for a body.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1175.596" dur="2">My soul is so full right now!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1177.596" dur="5.124">Bit weird that he hasn't got the signature hood square but HAS got the irregular neck to accommodate it</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1182.72" dur="3.844">but whatever! Sorry! Can't hear you over the song in my heart!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1186.564" dur="6.223">But if we must critique it, and we must, this is a review, I suppose I should say the colours are an interesting mix.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1192.787" dur="3.213">Like you've got that classic toyetic deep shiny indigo,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1196.856" dur="4.885">alongside this much tamer TV show powder blue, which I guess works?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1201.741" dur="4.171">Like, of all the characters out there, I don't know if Skids needed the cartoon homage treatment.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1205.912" dur="2.728">No harm done! I still like it, but did you have to?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1208.64" dur="6.88">The only real carryovers you could even include from the cartoon are like, the pale arms with the cool little red-spotted shoulder bracers,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1215.52" dur="4.29">that weirdly tall, narrow face with dreamlike non-features,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1219.81" dur="2.238">and like... blanched knees? I dunno.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1222.048" dur="4.192">Weapons are also weirdly screen-weighted and both quite uncomfortable looking,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1226.241" dur="5.119">like this weird little twin-zap laser pointer thing that looks like it should go in his hand but doesn't,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1231.36" dur="2.56">you can just see his entire hand through it,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1233.92" dur="2.72">and this other one's just all sack and no shaft.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1236.64" dur="5.152">I dunno. It's the kind of silly sci-fi weaponry that's probably technically quite helpful in some way,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1241.792" dur="2.565">but you're not gonna be the one who takes out Blitzwing, are ya.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1244.357" dur="2.363">It's not a big deal though! It's just a weird one.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1246.72" dur="6.56">Like, this is a figure with a lot of tiny, needly, unfortunate titbits, but none of it even touches how gorgeous it is!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1253.28" dur="2.32">It's giving me everything. You've only gotta look!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1255.6" dur="9.009">It's got the sweet shiny stripy doors and the little windscreen pistons, it's got the giant red brogues and shins made out of a quarter of a car,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1264.609" dur="3.13">It's got that sort of *chef's kiss*, y'know? That sorta je ne sais quoi.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1267.739" dur="2.684">That, erm... y'know, the, uh, it's got the, uh...</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1270.423" dur="2.377">[intro to "The Touch" plays]</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1272.8" dur="0.9">Nah, too obvious.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1290.693" dur="7.055">Transformation's extremely achievable, albeit with a mild case of that peculiar third party insistence on overcomplication.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1297.748" dur="6.732">Like, the legs and bod are all suitably sensible and simple, so I'm really not sure why the arms have to be this complex.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1304.48" dur="5.2">There's all like, tiny tabs and two or three layers of panels orbiting around the forearms</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1309.68" dur="1.902">but baby, when you get there!?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1311.582" dur="3.992">Look, I don't wanna get hyperbolic over here. Half of my slogan is "keepin' it real",</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1315.574" dur="4.26">but this might just be the car mode of my dreams!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1319.834" dur="3.686">That is, I don't know if it's actually a completely accurate Honda City Tubro -</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1323.529" dur="6.711">I don't know if it really has that irregular bumper grille, or right-side steering with the petrol cap on the offside rear,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1330.24" dur="3.52">but it looks like Skids and it's stunning!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1333.76" dur="5.36">It's still that same appealingly cheerful, delightfully down-to-Earth little motor, but just more!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1339.12" dur="6.014">It just manages to perfectly upscale the vibe without overdoing it or inserting nerdy in-jokes.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1345.134" dur="5.106">Look at this thing. It's so cute and classy. There's so much love and craftsmanship on show</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1350.24" dur="5.76">from those bright-eyed headlights to the indestructible rubber wing mirrors and the... asspipe.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1356" dur="5.985">It gives you that real-feel tyre squish and the paintjob's got me swimmin' in an ocean of indigo!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1361.985" dur="6.371">And look, Skids might not be the coolest Autobot, but he really cornered the market on havin' doors.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1368.356" dur="6.164">And check this out, this is ridiculous. They've actually given him the little foldy-up scooter from the Diaclone days!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1374.52" dur="5.48">He didn't even have this in Transformers! This is like, pre-G1. This is Pre-1!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1380" dur="2.56">That is possibly the deepest ever cut.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1382.56" dur="4.052">This is a cut so deep that it went all the way through and out the other side.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1386.612" dur="2.188">This is a deep cut exit wound.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1388.8" dur="3.19">Tell ya what though - not a fan of this box! Yes, we're going there.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1391.99" dur="5.806">Like, I appreciate that it's nice and petite and doesn't waste any cupboard space, and the artwork's actually pretty sick,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1398.36" dur="2.76">but, God, X-Transbots, hire a designer!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1401.12" dur="2.297">Too many fonts! Too small! Too ugly!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1403.417" dur="3.783">What is this live-laugh-love-ass Karencore garbage!?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1407.2" dur="2.8">Why would you do this!? It's a good figure! You've gotta -</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1410.12" dur="1.88">Is that... Deathsaurus's dog?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1412" dur="4.64">Look, trivialities aside, X-Transbots Savant is just a beautiful thing.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1416.64" dur="7.04">This is a nigh-flawless collector market Skids with at least an equal indulgence factor as a high-level Masterpiece!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1423.68" dur="4.498">This is the best Skids has ever looked and I am besotted.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1428.178" dur="3.398">You down with XTB? Yeah, you know me.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1431.869" dur="3.784">[voiceover] But ultimately, however good it is, however happy it makes me,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1435.653" dur="5.907">part of me knows that the work of some law-bending copycat company doesn't count for jack in the official timeline.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1441.56" dur="4.664">It was all a dream. Offside. Disqualified.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1446.224" dur="6.758">And in the cold, unforgiving light of the real world, we instead close out the story of Skids on his last known sighting</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1453.294" dur="2">in Q-Transformers.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1455.294" dur="1.906">Wow. Name a bigger downgrade.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1457.2" dur="2.64">Not that there's a damn thing wrong with Q-Transformers!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1459.84" dur="5.885">They're excellent harmless fun! I definitely enjoy their absurdly cute super-squat uniform tump</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1465.725" dur="2.675">and this squishy little sky blue Suzuki</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1469.084" dur="2">is extraordinarily endearing</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1472.64" dur="7.531">but the fact that THIS is the most recent real-world Skids representation - doesn't it kinda feel like the final indignity?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1480.171" dur="5.628">'Cos while so many of his brothers, like Prowl and Ironhide, have had all kinds of updates and Masterpieces</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1485.799" dur="7.481">and most recently, two cool-ass hyper-modern mainline figures, EACH, in the last 18 months, AND Q-Transformers,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1493.28" dur="6.847">Skids has just been relegated to novelty cameo status, excluded from every modern mainstream toyline,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1500.127" dur="2.684">adrift in a limbo of Hasbro's making.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1505.52" dur="6.518">And honestly, it's a travesty that a guy who started out as such a stunning figure with such a distinctive personality</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1512.038" dur="2.042">has been allowed to stagnate like this!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1514.08" dur="7.04">Come on! Wouldn't the modern-day Autobot family just feel a smidge more complete with a nifty little navy blue supermini on the go?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1521.12" dur="7.055">But at this point I feel like it's never gonna happen, because Skids just doesn't seem to fit. He's not cool enough. He's not marketable enough.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1528.175" dur="7.025">He was never gonna be as badass as Sideswipe, or as stylish as Sunstreaker, or as instantly iconic as Wheeljack.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1535.2" dur="5.361">When there are so many other, objectively cooler characters and only so much limelight to go around,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1540.561" dur="4.17">how's an absent-minded theoretician supposed to keep up with the Dinobots?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1544.731" dur="7.269">He's just another guy. He's not even ANother guy; he's THE other guy. The definitive forgotten son of G1.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1552" dur="5.44">But maybe that's just how Skids has to be! Maybe the reason he doesn't show up more often is that he doesn't have to.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1557.44" dur="5.43">Because this handful of scattered misfit appearances does kinda give him a certain underdog swagger</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1562.87" dur="8.01">and maybe that's more valuable than being rehashed every year as a Combiner, or a Headmaster, or a power of a prime.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1570.88" dur="6.312">Skids just might be the low-key patron saint of less is more and maybe it's me who needs to respect that!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1578.36" dur="1.64">What if I'M the problem!?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1580" dur="8.037">Is it me!? Am I being that stubborn unpleasable fanboy I always make fun of who looks at the bounties that surround him and still gets upset</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1588.037" dur="5.426">'cos he can't have the one hyper-specific thing that he wants? "Uuhh, Hasblow!" That ain't me!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1593.85" dur="0.692">Is it?</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1594.542" dur="4.201">Look, of course it sucks to watch a character you like struggle to find their place</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1598.743" dur="3.487">and it's natural to want success and mainstream acceptance for them,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1602.23" dur="4.771">but maybe it never happened for Skids not because of mishandling or incompetence,</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1607.001" dur="3.399">but because that's life. Not everybody makes it.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1610.4" dur="3.368">And maybe that's what all these stories have been trying to tell me all along:</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1613.768" dur="5.122">that Skids's role in all this is to be the one that we lose.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1619.455" dur="1.792">To be forgotten.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1622.12" dur="2">And maybe it's on me now...</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1624.994" dur="1.167">...to let him go.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1628.522" dur="0.573">No!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1629.095" dur="5.45">Hasbro, I swear to God, I want Transformers Kingdom Deluxe Class Skids on my desk by Friday!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1634.545" dur="2.476">Tonton, I know you have it, you HAVE to hook me up.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1640" dur="3.812">Oh boy! That was fun! Huge thanks to everybody who's hooked me up with Skidses:</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1643.812" dur="6.188">that's Opsimathics, Jolene, Chris over at Rodimus Minor reviews, and a fella named James!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1650" dur="5.39">And of course a big Patrony shoutout to Adam Skarnes for supporting the show. You made it all possible, baby!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1655.39" dur="2">Right! More to be done. Catch you on the flipside!</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1658.483" dur="4.706">Be sure to subscribe for more Thew's Awesome Transformers Reviews.</text>
<text sub="clublinks" start="1663.665" dur="2.476">Limited appeal, keepin' it real.</text>